How to know when it’s time to start therapy.
By Dr. Maya Ellison, Clinical Director
Most people arrive in our office having wondered about therapy for months — sometimes years. Not because they didn’t need it, but because they were waiting for a sign obvious enough to justify it. A breakdown. A crisis. Permission.
Here’s what we tell them: you don’t need to be at your worst to deserve support. In fact, therapy works best when you still have some footing. Below are the quieter signs we hear about most — the ones worth listening to long before a crisis.
1. You’re functioning, but flat
Work gets done. Nobody’s worried about you. But the color has drained out of ordinary days — food tastes like nothing, weekends feel like waiting rooms, and you can’t remember the last time you laughed without forcing it. Functioning is not the same as well, and you’re allowed to want more than “fine.”
2. The same loop keeps playing
Same argument with your partner. Same Sunday-night dread. Same promise to yourself, broken by Wednesday. Insight alone hasn’t broken the pattern — which makes sense, because patterns live in the nervous system and in relationships, not just in thoughts. A therapist helps you work at that deeper level.
3. Your coping is costing you
The extra drinks, the endless scrolling, the working late to avoid going home to your own thoughts. Coping strategies aren’t moral failures — they worked until they didn’t. Therapy is where you build replacements before the old ones collect interest.
4. People keep suggesting it (lovingly)
If two or more people who love you have gently floated the idea, take it as data, not criticism. The people around you can often see your suffering more clearly than you can — especially when you’ve gotten good at minimizing it.
You don’t have to be sure. Curiosity is a good enough reason to book a consultation.
What to do with this nudge
Start small: a free consultation, one honest conversation about what’s going on. Ask the therapist how they’d approach what you described. Notice how you feel afterward — lighter, clearer, a little hopeful? That feeling is information too.
And if now isn’t the time, that’s alright. Bookmark this page. The door stays open, and beginning later is still beginning.
